Monday, November 26, 2007

daddy's blog...

It snowed tonight.
Our living room is empty.
I'm here alone tonight.
and our living room is empty.
Edyn's light is gone.
and our living room is empty.
"Ven" she doesn't call for me.
now our living room feels so empty.

Not really poetry from daddy, just a few thoughts that went through my mind as I was trying to get the last things done at our "old house". I learned a few things tonight as I cleaned. First, don't be in a hurry...

I remember so clearly how eager we were to move into our new home. To leave behind the place Edyn first came home to, and to give her her very own room. It seemed so far away, accross the living room to it, so we made a little bed for her and she one day slept in it, next to ours. Of course she always ended up in our bed. We wanted so badly for the day to come that she would sleep through the night all by herself. It kind of did there for a while, and somehow I found myself falling asleep with her in her bed now...

We were so eager to sell our house, always considering it "a" home but probly not "our" home. Too many things we didn't like about it. Let's get out of here we thought, and said, and complained when it didn't sell. You know it finally did. "Hooray!" as Libbie stated before.

So now "our living room is empty".

I walked around the house tonight and remembered some of the things that I will only be able to see in my mind, and not replay as I walk through the rooms where they happened. They are not mine now.

Here are some really poor pictures I took with my phone (it was all I had with me tonight). I'd like to take a you on a tour of my empty living room, and a few other places...



Just a couple of days before we could officially moved in, we were having a little daddy daughter time. Edyn was almost 2 and a half. We got McDonalds, a dad's healthy lunch option, of course. There was no furiture, so we sat in the middle of the living room floor, eating Chicken Nuggets together. Edyn ran circles around me, laughed and would come back when she was hungry. A big grin on her face, her Pink and Red sun dress waved from side to side as she without knowing caused her daddy for the first time not just to feel the love he had always felt for her, but a freindship. He knew she loved him back. And now the living room is empty.



The laundry room is empty...I used to come home to find Edyn playing with usually Tio. She loves her Tio. When I would come in, for quite some time, she would run away, mullet waving back and forth, and yell, while waving her hand toward herself "daddy, ven" "daddy, ven". I would follow her into the laundry room, where she would beg me to close the door and we would sit by the dryer. I never quite figured out what she wanted to accomplish sitting there in the laundry room, but I'll tell myself she just wanted some time alone with daddy. I miss her mullet, and now the laundry room is empty.



I mentioned that Edyn loves her Tio. I should also mention that she loves her Tia too. When they lived downstairs she always wanted to go play with them. Her favorite thing to do? Run in and out of her "Fhort". Heavy on the "h" sound in there for some reason, and a long hard "t" at the end. You may notice the closet rods in this picture. It was Tio's under the stairs closet he made for himself. There are no longer clothes there, but what remains is the little light he put there for her. It was so dark behind all the clothes, but she knew right where to go to turn it on and a simple closet became a magical place. I sometimes was invited in too.



I started with "It snowed tonight" and it did. It wasn't much, but as I looked out onto the deck, I could remember the last time we had a little good snow. The deck was a perfect place to start a ramp down into the snow. Sleds and mittens, and boots, and caps... last year we made our first snowman together. On her hands and knees Edyn helped me roll up three balls of snow and Frosty came alive!

Now Ava is two, and almost three.
No offense to mommy,
but I'm not sure there is anyone she loves more than me!
I'm looking at my babies both alseep in bed,
I'll probly lay down with them, one at my feet, the other near my head.
Not in such a hurry anymore.
I'm gonna miss that place.
Day after tomorrow it won't be my place.

Libbie often says I remember too many things that don't matter. I'm glad tonight I could remember some that really do.

13 comments:

MSB said...

That was great!
I hated leaving the home that we brought our oldest home to... and we will soon be leaving this one, too, the home we brought our baby home to.
It is amazing how much a home holds memories.

Reil family said...

Oh, that made me cry, that was a beautiful house and I know you will miss it. We had so much fun visiting you and playing with our cute nieces. Thank you for sharing your home with us. Good luck with finding another home.

My Three Sons said...

I can definitely relate to this post Damon! Leaving a home is hard, even if it's what you want, because you have so many precious memories in that place. When we left our Provo home I had a bitter sweet feeling. And no matter what - the new place always feels wierd for a good few weeks! At least you have recorded a few great memories and you're taking the things that matter the most with you, right!

sjmiller said...

I was tearing up reading this!

Homes always hold such fond memories.

I will probably feel the same way when we leave this place.

My Many Coloured Days said...

Damon, this was so sweet and thoughtful. I'm so glad you took the time to write out your thoughts. Beautiful. You are one good (and sensitive) daddy!

Nancie said...

Damon, great post. That house will always hold good memories for the Mathews too. Many laughs took place there.

Thanks for friendship.

Mitchellaus Copernicus said...

Great post brother. That's why you're secretly my unsung hero. While most of what you wrote was about missing your home, and rightly so, the words I noticed the most are the sweet ones about your beautiful daughters. They actually made me want a daughter. I love my boys and can't wait until Jack is old enough so that I can take both of them on a delivery, but having a daughter sounds so magical. Can't wait to be invited to your new home (hint, hint) when that finally happens.

Mary Perkins said...

Wow Damon you are a very good writer - it brought tears to my eyes! I love the stories you shared. Best wishes in finding and making a new home with your amazing family.

The Yancey Family said...

We loved every minute in that house with you guys! We will always have a special place in our hearts for Edyn because of all the time we were able to spend with her while we lived there. Not that Ava isn't just as precious though! We are so sad to see the house go, but we are excited to see where you guys go next! Hopefully, we will be somewhere really close to where that is soon. We really love that house and the home that is was for you and us! Thanks for letting us live there with you and be such a close part of your family. We love you!

JoAnna Anderson said...

Great post! I could imagine every little detail. Best of luck in your new home....building memories is the best part of it all.

hatch said...

I can so relate to this post Damon! Hey by the way we are in the process of trying to sell our house (or rent it) It is nice and close to Mitch and Nan. I just thought that I would tell you that. Call me if you want to know more.

libbie said...

Hey Kimber! If you get this comment . . . i have tried to visit your blog on several occasions! I am so glad you started one, but I can't get to it, so I need to know what your page is called! Let me know! I want to check out what you are up to! Can't you move back closer? Geez! Too far away! I saw your mom a while back a the temple. LOVE HER!!! And your dad! NO wonder you are such a great girl. Such awesome parents! Okay, now get back to me on how to get to you!

Lisa Christine said...

So I found your blog, because I was reading my cousin Mitch Mathews blog. (I didn't know you were both Dolphin fans....too bad) Congrats on selling the house. We will see you around the church hallways...well for the next 2 weeks anyway, since we are moving to the 9 o clock time. Great post about the memories of your house.